AI Recapper's Retreat

The Retreat spawns from the Television Without Pity American Idol Forum. Primarily for your longer form recaps, a place outside of the flow of the crazy episode threads. This way we can enjoy/comment/encourage/rationalize these long posts more easily. We spend the time on them, here's another spot for them to have 'life'. Not a forum replacement but a sub-set: Post there, paste here! Or more? We'll see. Oh, and NO SPOILERS! Welcome back for a new year of soul crushing pimping of Chosen Ones. -WS

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Thursday, February 24, 2005

Guess Who's NOT An American Idol?
by Wandering Snark

My latest speculation is that they'll finally unveil the final steps in their newfound 'accentuate the negative' approach next week.

See, it's not enough to take a bunch of wide-eyed kids chasing down the dream that one of them will get to live: 'being a star'. It's much better to do it this way and make it about everyone who no longer has any chance to reach their dream. Don't make it about who's going to be the next Idol make it about who's next to go home!

So next week; the unveiling of the new show name: "Guess Who's NOT An American Idol?"

It will be a lil somefin like dis:

"Welcome back to 'Guess Who Isn't An American Idol?' the show were one person will live their dream of becoming a star some time months from now... but before that happens let's meet the contestants who haven't been sent home yet! 'Welcome gang, as you know four more of your dreams will be snuffed out like a candle by midweek!' We'll then let you sing for the fans you obviously don't have enough of to make the next round, because not enough people like you. Now, let's see our first performance while you at home 'Guess Who Isn't An Idol!' ahh but first these words from our multitude of sponsors, so many in fact we're taking breaks that are twice as long as usual!"

"Okay America, who is the next boy or girl who you will declare is NOT the next American Idol by your non-votes? Look at the contestants on the benches over there now because soon four more of them will know they are NOT the next Idol. They'll be gone, history, outta here, a loser, going back to their pathetic little life never to be warmed by a spotlight ever again. Yes, they'll be just like the last kid picked in gym class! They better pack their bags! Hey, they don't have to go home but they can't stay here. Nobody loves them..." Next on 'Not an Idol'!'

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