AI Recapper's Retreat

The Retreat spawns from the Television Without Pity American Idol Forum. Primarily for your longer form recaps, a place outside of the flow of the crazy episode threads. This way we can enjoy/comment/encourage/rationalize these long posts more easily. We spend the time on them, here's another spot for them to have 'life'. Not a forum replacement but a sub-set: Post there, paste here! Or more? We'll see. Oh, and NO SPOILERS! Welcome back for a new year of soul crushing pimping of Chosen Ones. -WS

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Monday, February 21, 2005

It's Raining Meh
by Adam

My DirecTV guide says: "12 Men perform for judges Paula Abdul, Simon Cowell, and Randy Jackson." That sounds vaguely pornographic. Weird.

What the hell is this Miss America, introduce the 50 states thing at the beginning. How utterly embarassing. I know they've done this before but I don't remember the contestants acting so toolish!

Nikko "Oz Jr" Smith: Anytime he held a note longer than a few seconds, he sounded screechy to me. And of course, with the Stevie - beating us with a bat over and OVER again with Mr. Wonder. Damn. I agree with Simon; it was simply ok and when will Asshat Randy and Asshat Paula learn that it SUCKS when they interrupt Simon.

Scott Savol: Hated it. Falsetto was horrid and I LIKED him before. Paula - "pitch problems? So what" but then she made up for that idiocy with her patented "song selection is key" - drink!

Anthony Federov: Split screen of pimping! Total boyband performance of a Richard Marx song. Gah. Simon is searing tonight and I don't blame him.

Bo Bice: Ooh.. the coveted Coca-Cola pimp couch interview? Interesting. I hate this song but I didn't mind his performance of it at all. Up to this point, he was certainly the most interesting even though he made scary Eddie Vedder faces.

Travis Tucker: I didn't know RW Philadelphia's Karamo was on this show; is he gonna slit someone's throat? Again with the Stevie? *Bangs head* This was bland and the background singers totally drowned him out on the "la la la"s - Ashlee Simpson should take note.

Constantine Maroulis: Started off really scratchy and trailed off into nod-away land at the end but the stuff in the middle was decent. I didn't know "smarm" was considered "charisma" - whatever.

David Brown: Was he nervous or something? He pulled a good-singer-implodes ala K Lo's Burger King commercial from a couple of seasons ago. Plus he was pigeonholed into the middle-spots of meh. I sense danger.

Jared Yates: It's RJ on TrimSpa wearing women's clothing. I fell asleep about 30 seconds in so I can't really comment about the whole thing.

Anwar Robinson: Does he have plastic on? Bizarre song choice but he sang it well. He's definitely the "diva" of the men.

Judd Harris: I'm not a girl (shut up Simon) but I liked him - he didn't pull a Jon Peter Lewis while spazzing out all over the stage and forgetting to sing. However, I DO think he could've picked a better song and I'm surprised they didn't haul out the "karaoke" descriptions. IMO, he was slightly above average and I think (hope?) good enough for another week. He gets bonus points for just SOUNDING different.

Joseph Murena: Oh no. Dude? Michael Bolton? Seriously. I'm afraid it was a bad Nick Lachey impersonation. I think a different ballad would have been much more friendly to his

Mario Vasquez: I'm sorry, I think I just caught my cat in the rolltop part of my desk. Oh wait - that's just Fez Guarini's singing. If Joseph was bad Nick Lachey, this was bad Justin Timberlake. The best? THE HELL?! The fix is in people and I hate this show.

I hope the smokin' hot Amanda Avila, the lovely Nadia, and Baby "V" Solomon bring it tomorrow night and cure the meh-blues!

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Blogger Wandering Snark sez:

Hallelujah, it is indeed raining meh.

I forgot how much I love it when Paula say stupid shit like "You had pitch problems but so what". "It was really a bad song choice, you had a lot of problems, and a rodent sprung from your mouth as you were starting but I think your fans will forgive you. You're magical." Heh...

Good point on David Brown it had a lot of similarities to KLo's; I kind of hope he survives for that reason; some of these guys sucked and you could tell there's no chance it gets better from here. David might pull it together like KLo but he's gotta get enough votes to go on and I don't know if he will.

I'm with you on Mario, cat in a roll-top desk is a great description. It was so hideous and strident and choppy all-over the place I think my brain turned my ears off half-way through out of self preservation...

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