AI Recapper's Retreat

The Retreat spawns from the Television Without Pity American Idol Forum. Primarily for your longer form recaps, a place outside of the flow of the crazy episode threads. This way we can enjoy/comment/encourage/rationalize these long posts more easily. We spend the time on them, here's another spot for them to have 'life'. Not a forum replacement but a sub-set: Post there, paste here! Or more? We'll see. Oh, and NO SPOILERS! Welcome back for a new year of soul crushing pimping of Chosen Ones. -WS

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Monday, February 28, 2005

Let There Be Bo
by Swoopin

Blahblahblah Ryancakes.

So Paula starts us off by saying she wants to see "showmanship." Judd, at home, kicks a huge hole in his teevee. And what's with the flippy dippy hair? And did she share her stash all around tonight or what?

On to the carnage--I thought everyone with 4 exceptions were better this week.

Mario: this guy--Jesus. He is sooooo Mickey Mouse Club, right down to the hats and the cheese he served up with that. Anyone who claps their hands over their heads should be instantly eliminated. And he raided some poor old guy's closet and stole his hat and jacket. Simon tells him "you don't need our advice." Well, he could use mine: he was drowned out by the backing vocals, his pitch was wobbly at best, and he has breathing issues when he moves. And the falsetto is not good enough. "I Love Music" is total ham and cheese. His was Generic Cheese Slices and Baloney.

Anwar: First, props to the camera people for giving me that close up of Lindsay's hair. Where do they find these people? Last year it was John Stevens' ear. I thought he was a little too happy, and he started too low again, but he was on it by the end. But I think Nikko Out Marvin'd him in a lot of ways.

Joe: Is probably now wondering what a Portuguese nightclub is, and Al Green is wondering why it took until 2005 for him to become irrelevent on AI. I liked this--he's got a good voice, he was on key with good tone. Not the greatest of the night, but certainly superior to the four people who followed him, IMO.

David: He just isn't bringing it. I think he's fallen victim to the nerves--he's way off key in places. The glory note was good, but this was the worst tonight.

Constantine: I ain't gonna burn my hands on him, believe me. I'd like to attack him with a bar of soap, though. All I really have to say about this is Jesus H. Roman, that was not only laughably awful, it was ridiculously off key. And please, for the love of Roman, button the damned shirt and stop with the jacket yanking, you pretentious git.

Scott: Liked the glasses and that he tried to groove a bit--props for that. I thought he sounded weak when he went up to the high notes. I don't think he's cutting lose like he can, and he needs to bring it--if he gets to stay next week. I thought it was, again, too dull.

Travis: So very pretty, and he can move. Loved his spiel about doing it for himself and not his dead granny. You go Travis! That said, he started kind of rough and he, like Mario, has some breathing issues to work on, but I give him a pass just because I could watch him smile all night long.

Nikko: Took my favorite Marvin song and did it a little growly. I liked it--it was a little more raw than Marvin, but I thought it worked for him. Still a little screechy on the falsetto, and he does NOT look like Bobby Brown.

Potterov: Again with the fading lower register. No power behind the glory note. And still with the Claycloning--bending forward to do the big notes, etc. He needs to be himself. Except I'm not sure he knows who that is anymore. I didn't think it was awful, but I think he's boring as hell.

Bo: I have "Mrs. Bo Bice" written on my notes. Which is pathetic because I'm 15 years older than him and married and all, but Ho-leeeee Shit. "Whipping Post" on AI! He was way better than anyone ever has been on this show. And Constantine? That's stage presence honey. Look into it.

Who should go: David and Constantine
Who will go: David and Scott, I think, or maybe I'll get lucky about Conman.

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Blogger PKD sez:

"Falling for you was,
Never quite like bleeding,
Your mother said it was,
A new form of weed eating."

-The Troxies

Blogger katiedid sez:

Don't feel too bad about Bo... y'know what's more pathetic? When I wrote Mrs. Bo Bice over and over on my three ring binder, I put little hearts over the "i" where there should more reasonably be a simple dot. Plus, even more pathetic than that? I'm fighting the urge (and obsession, really) to suggest several good hair serums to make his hair shinier. Because Mrs. Bo Bice needs to be seen with a man who's got shiny beautiful Breck Girl quality hair. He's not the prettiest contestant this year, but yeah... I'm with you on the Bo love.

Blogger Swoopin sez:

Katiedid said. "I put little hearts".

Uhm, well...*embarrassed look*.

You know, he's not pretty pretty, but he's a damned good looking guy. Certainly superior to ConstantCreep.

And dear Lord, someone besides me knows who The Troxies are. What is the world coming to?

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