AI Recapper's Retreat

The Retreat spawns from the Television Without Pity American Idol Forum. Primarily for your longer form recaps, a place outside of the flow of the crazy episode threads. This way we can enjoy/comment/encourage/rationalize these long posts more easily. We spend the time on them, here's another spot for them to have 'life'. Not a forum replacement but a sub-set: Post there, paste here! Or more? We'll see. Oh, and NO SPOILERS! Welcome back for a new year of soul crushing pimping of Chosen Ones. -WS

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Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Hello, My Name Is WS And I am An Idol Addict
by Wandering Snark

I’m sorry, but this right here? Is bullshit. At least they are still being voted for based on their performances last night, no redos.

I still think the ‘variation’ of the ‘error’ voting from last night will be a tiny percentage of what tonights’ variation will end up being voting from a different day and time from a show that a lot of people don’t both to tune in for. As I said, we all know the deal by now. Numbers=performance slot. AND so one number was wrong, it was the smaller of two numbers and the BIG one was right. I hope the result is still Mikalah the Gorgon going home, if it’s someone like Jessica of Scott for example 19 had better watch their collective asses because people will be pissed.

Past that though I’m pretending like I’m firing up my recording and ‘listening to the show back’, so:

Anthony STILLboresmypantsov -4! This was actually much worse than I even thought initially, it was awkward, thin, painful and floundering. Did I mention boring? Okay then, I really think it’s a strong contender for worst performance actually given that he has more 'raw material' to work from than... her.

Something About Carrie “Is that hair gel?” The hair was quite the creation and it was even more hilarious seeing Smutty Sandy back to her dowdy, straight haired, frilly baby doll wearin' self wehn coming back from her clip to ‘live’. That said though upon another look and listening especially for the effect of the backup singer I think the backup woman actually detracted from how well Carrie did actually. So I really do have to say this was just a shade under Bo for best performance. She really does have zero connection though and I can’t believe they haven’t called her on it... instead we need to tell everyone how she’s the best. evar.

She is stiffer than Diana ever was and more robotic, she’s like a beta version DiBot that was initially developed only to do cover versions. Carrie is the front of a cover band afterall and it really shows. +3 though, even though I thought hair aside it was pretty good yesterday and she didn't have much room to go up.

Scott: +2 The performance and vocals were both better than I remembered. He is firmly the middle of the pack.

Bo: I gave it a 20 out of 20 the first time so he couldn’t go up and he surely didn’t go down upon rewatch. I almost appreciate it more though on rewatch beccause it was so something nobody else could have pulled off. His voice went down like some fine fine whiskey.

Nikko +2 The vocal was a lot smoother and less strained than I originally thought. Like Scott, solidly middle of the road.

Vonzelle Still. So. Good. V is for victory baby!

ConstantShouting The mic-fellating was even more disturbing this time and yeah, he ‘sang’ maybe three words in a row, most was breathy shouting. People: when asked he said “I just wanted to rock it” first, after Paula tried to cover for his schtick. He didn’t exactly step up and show this “I’m just fucking with this competition” attitude did he? Only later when re-asked for about the third time and almost begged to recant by Seacrest did he quietly say “It was a little tongue in cheek”. He’s not in on the joke. He is the joke.

Nadia And Her Bow Wow Wow Thunderdome of Hair Second draft of my designation of her ‘look’ yesterday, and some new snark because her hopping around reminded me... she looked like a hobby horse. Does this look familiar to anyone? I think they call it The Nadia. The vocal isn’t as bad if you look away from the mind-scrambling frohawk. “The mohawk was for Mario.” What? Okay, it’s official, You’re Dead To Me.

Mikayla the Gorgon Painful as originally thought. She has an amazing skill in that she can sing while clipping off both the beginning and end of every word she sings. And I now offically want to take pleasure from slowly torturing her AND her mother (with duck tape over their big mouths of course). Her shirt says “My job is to ANNOY you” and folks she is tops in her chosen field. -10x256000000000

Anward and Downward I love his attitude in speaking about his performance, the performance itself though? Still not so good. You could clearly hear the background singer shouting him down throughout the song. It comes back to confidence and this performance shows that he's a teacher foremost and a performer second. +.01

Jessica The beginning was sooo good and really I’m leaning toward the repeat being a way to hold together the center of the chopped down version. I’m much more inclined to think it was pretty damn good. Give her a +6 and just a shade below Carrie on the overall (heh, farm pun unintended).

Everyone went up in my opinon 'cept for three of them, Bo who was at the ceiling already, BoredomBoy who was worse oh sooo much worse and Mikaylah who I now want dead but only after weeks, maybe months of slow physical and mental torture.

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