AI Recapper's Retreat

The Retreat spawns from the Television Without Pity American Idol Forum. Primarily for your longer form recaps, a place outside of the flow of the crazy episode threads. This way we can enjoy/comment/encourage/rationalize these long posts more easily. We spend the time on them, here's another spot for them to have 'life'. Not a forum replacement but a sub-set: Post there, paste here! Or more? We'll see. Oh, and NO SPOILERS! Welcome back for a new year of soul crushing pimping of Chosen Ones. -WS

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Tuesday, March 29, 2005

I Loathe the 90s
by Adam

I had long wanted the show to roll with a 1990s theme; no longer is that the case. Of all the songs the contestants could have picked, they ended up rehashing FOUR that had been performed on the show before. Yuck. Anyway, I was less than impressed this week. I'll ramble from best to worst in my book...

1. Vonzell "I Have Nothing" Well, it seems like one of my favorite contestants sings "I Have Nothing" every year so I shouldn't be surprised. As always, classy, stylish, and so gorgeous. The song choice really disappointed me but still she sang it very well and I did enjoy the high notes tremendously -the last one was pristine. Still loving her.

2. Nikko "Can We Talk" Ooh, he sensed vote erosion so he played the Ozzie Smith daddy baseball card! Did Joan Rivers sing this song? Oh wait, it's T.E.V.I.N. Campbell. Hee! He really is improving leaps and bounds - everything was awesome 'cept the closing long note.

*chasm* The above two are the only ones I can say I really "liked."

3. Carrie "Independence Day" Did she dye her tongue GREEN to match her shirt? It's interesting that Simon broke out some of the others being karaoke because Carrie Xeroxed Martina's original. She still sounded good and thankfully she didn't SMILE during a song about domestic violence and burning stuff down but she wasn't nearly as good as last week.

4. Nadia "I'm The Only One" certainly got herself in gear after the *ass*ass*ination of "Time After Time" last week. Hated throwing the mic stand down and it seems like I can see her wheels turning more and more instead of her connecting with the song and the audience but nonetheless, it was a good vocal.

5. Bo "Remedy" was good but he's lucky that the themes are more broad this year. I still like him but I've not been "wowed" (help me, I sound like Randy) in quite some weeks and dude? Just say no to crawling all over the judges' desk-ette.

6. Jessica "On The Side of Angels" I'm one of the few who dislikes Boobica Lisperra but I'll give her very being very vanilla tonight. And is it just me or does anyone else hear a little bit of goat coming through (is it excess vibrato?) because Lawd help me, I was reminded of Carmen a tiny bit.

7. Anwar "I Believe I Can Fly" Paula is reaching new levels of intoxication; I'm surprised the lights from the stage didn't ignite her full proof vodka breath. Furthermore, I had no idea that song was called "I Can Believe I Can Fly." The beginning of the performance was very unsteady but then the belting began, and he sounded great. Very wobbly was he indeed...

8. Anthony "Something About the Way You Look Tonight" His voice is gaining more and more of his Ukranian heritage and it is odd sounding - he just continues to slide down a slippery slope. He sounded like a four year old in his intro too.

9. ConstantFleaRiddenDirtBag "I Can't Make You Love Me" OH NO YOU DIN'T! Step the eff off K Lo (oh and Bonnie Raitt). Yeah, he was in tune and everything but I felt like he was singing to linoleum tiles or something. HATE. The judges are beyond hope.

10. Scott "One Last Cry" His falsetto was HORRID to my ears. Paula you can't sing so of course, you didn't hear "pitchy." Scott should apologize to Brian McKnight immediately. I hope Scott's gone this week.

In conclusion, someone stage an intervention for Paula. Now. Thanks. The pills and booze that are flowing through her veins are just inumberable.

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