AI Recapper's Retreat

The Retreat spawns from the Television Without Pity American Idol Forum. Primarily for your longer form recaps, a place outside of the flow of the crazy episode threads. This way we can enjoy/comment/encourage/rationalize these long posts more easily. We spend the time on them, here's another spot for them to have 'life'. Not a forum replacement but a sub-set: Post there, paste here! Or more? We'll see. Oh, and NO SPOILERS! Welcome back for a new year of soul crushing pimping of Chosen Ones. -WS

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Monday, March 07, 2005

The one where Anwar finally puts it all together.
by Wandering Snark

Pauler’s odd fashion choice du jour is a choker chain with the handle from a gold butter knife with some kind of text in script etched into it; she also has this gigantic super-mippy thing happening with her hair that is truly cracking me up.

Speaking of cracking me up, tonight the intros have the contestants “looking to the stars” in one of the cheesiest astrology based ‘backdrops’ ever, and really when they practically write the snark for us it’s just to damn easy so that’s the last I’ll mention of it. Gotta have standards y’all!

I have to say I’m feeling the interminable length of this year’s process at this point and I’m a bit burnt out...

Scott Savol - I don’t understand this whole untucked shirt thing in general, but it is particularly ill-conceived in Scott’s case. He has on a dark suitcoat with a light dress shirt. The look of having a shirt hanging two feet over your beltline gives you a bit of a Dorf vibe, it seems to have reduced Scott to four feet tall. The ‘no waist’ look is particularly bad for a heavy guy...

Bo Bice - Edwin McCain is probably a good choice since he does have a very McCain vibe. I mean that in a good way too, not in a current-day lite rock cliche McCain way. Edwin is more than ‘I’ll Be’ if you’ve heard his first couple albums and in that style is how I relate the two together. Simon officially gives his ultimate blessing/ultimate curse saying the comp is his to lose.

Anthony Boresmypantsov - Displays why he’s been the King of LiteRock unp until this point, because the stage came close to swallowing him up completely on this weak ass performance that was supposed to show range and ‘soul’ I guess? Also, button you gahdamn shirt, please.

Nikko Smith I love this song choice and I liked that he had a lot of range in both his vocals and his presentation/performance. I think puts him squarely in the running.

JazzieCazzie’s Travis Welcome to dancin beatboxin’ idol? I do feel Travis might do better at either of the previous but the singing version? Not so much. Pauler’s ‘boy crayzee’ happy pills are again completely clouding her ability to make sensible comments.

Monkio Fezquez Tonight he really has become the morphing of Justin Guarini and ‘Craggle’; but the vocal was pretty good. I still want him gone but we’ll let him go on I’ll guess.

ConstantSkeeve Please stop looking at me like that. Ugh. I'm burnt out on saying how much he sucks so I'll just leave it there...

Anward and Upward I think I like the look with his hair back and I definitely like this song choice as it has about ten times more life than his previous choices. He is the king of song choice and this is the Anwar a lot of us thought could really kick this competition’s butt. This is official notice that he is in the top several contestants at this point.

Overall I’d rank them at this point this way, with the effect of their last chance to get to the 12 in parenthesis: Bo (no change), Anwar (++), Nikko (++), Monkio (+), Scott (a bit -), Anthony (-), ConstantCreed (n/c), Travis (- -). Deserving-shlemerving Scott will be gone Wed and whoever out of Anthony and Travis gets the highest percentage of the squeeling girls vote (after they vote ConstantSkeeve for an hour and forty five minutes) will see that fifteen minutes determine how much longer their 15 minutes of fame lasts.

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