AI Recapper's Retreat

The Retreat spawns from the Television Without Pity American Idol Forum. Primarily for your longer form recaps, a place outside of the flow of the crazy episode threads. This way we can enjoy/comment/encourage/rationalize these long posts more easily. We spend the time on them, here's another spot for them to have 'life'. Not a forum replacement but a sub-set: Post there, paste here! Or more? We'll see. Oh, and NO SPOILERS! Welcome back for a new year of soul crushing pimping of Chosen Ones. -WS

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Monday, March 07, 2005

When the Moon Is In The Seventh House
by Swoopin

Ryan's jeans look like they have blue snakeskin in the pocket area, which is kind of wrong. And don't they pay this guy enough to buy a belt? Huh.

We have to have a chatty chat with the judges first, wherein Simon misses the plot of the argument about airtime and Randy says "just sing the song." As opposed to, oh I dunno, playing the spoons to it? I don't know what Paula said because I'm mezmerized by the mippy hair and trying to read her necklace.

I have a theory that whatever Simon Says tonight will rule in terms of voting. We'll see if I'm right.

Scott: "Can't Help Myself." Vocally fine, otherwise, eh. I agree with Simon--this guy is never going to be graceful, but the cheesy gestures. Just no. Simon is meh at best, but says nothing about his singing, which pisses me off.

Bo: Confession. Not only do I like long haired rockers, I like "I'll Be." So sue me. Not quite as kick ass as "Whipping Post," but a smart move, shifting it down to show he can do more than rock. Simon gives him the "hit record" comment, which is a plus, but then "your competition to lose," which is a Bad Thing.

Anthony: I hate his jacket and I know this is Marc Anthony but can't remember the title. He hit some rank notes in the middle and sounded awfully goaty to me. But smart to go up tempo. I thought it was meh. Simon seems unimpressed by Borederov's dancing and starts to compare it to Clay's "Grease," which will piss off about 30 million people for 80 different reasons.

Nikko: "Georgia On My Mind." Plays the Ray Card and it works--he needed to be memorable for more than just his singing to boost into the top 12 and this should do it. Wobbled a bit in the lower register, but totally killed on it at the end. Simon Says: right move.

Travis: Bobby Brown's "Every Little Step." He is so damned cute and so completely out of breath three measures in. Also off key nearly the whole time. Simon Says: Go home.

Mario: "How Can You Mend A Broken Heart." I totally hate his voice, which vaguely screams Craggle at me, but I have to admit he did fine with this, although I thought he was too careful with it and never quite cut loose and showed the passion. Simon Says: charming and appealing.

Constinksalot: "Every Little Thing She Does" by the Police. Gah, my favorite band ever, and I'll bet Sting is very very sorry he released the rights for that. Godawful--the song is wrong for his voice, he's flat at the beginning and sharp at the end and has no energy. And to add insult to injury, he's a Virgo like me. Simon Says: "bad impersonation of Sting."

Anwar: "What A Wonderful World." His musical training is allowing him to play with the arrangements to show various sides. I thought this was totally the best performance tonight, and as a plus, I thought he looked really attractive with the hair back and the fitted clothes. Simon liked it, then inexplicably starts talking about puppies and Anwar marrying Paula. So now I'm thinking he doesn't like him after all.

Yay! "Seacrest out!" is back. I missed it.

Based on Simon's comments, we should see the end of Travis and Scott tonight, or maybe Travis and Constantine. I'm not sure Simon has enough power to overcome the hobbyists and 15 year olds who are gonna powervote him in though.

Should go: ConstantlyIrksMe and Travis. But I'm betting Scott is gone, and that's not right.

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