AI Recapper's Retreat

The Retreat spawns from the Television Without Pity American Idol Forum. Primarily for your longer form recaps, a place outside of the flow of the crazy episode threads. This way we can enjoy/comment/encourage/rationalize these long posts more easily. We spend the time on them, here's another spot for them to have 'life'. Not a forum replacement but a sub-set: Post there, paste here! Or more? We'll see. Oh, and NO SPOILERS! Welcome back for a new year of soul crushing pimping of Chosen Ones. -WS

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Monday, April 04, 2005

And then there were nine (Or, Once upon a time there was light in my life, now there's only love in the dark)
by spacecitymarc

I am disconsolate. Not even a puppetastic pimpmercial for which there are no words can quell the anguish deep in the pit of my being. Jessica was my star, my light, my everything, and now she is gone. Gone! If I should ever refer to "the best female singer still in the competition" from here on out, note that it will be entirely by default.

This fucking blows.

Ryan tries to ease the pain by saying, "This is why it's tough, everybody's good." And… no, Ryan. Some people suck. Jessica does not. But Anthony and 2Cats live on. Was this really necessary to balance out the universe after the result of this week's awesometacular Amazing Race? Because this is just cruel, man.

And so now the awesome bit I was going to share with you about the group sing on "Everything Is Beautiful" and how if they were going to do a Ray Stevens song for the Red Cross, why not just go for "It's Me Again, Margaret" and be done with it? is shot to hell.


Are you surprised by the bottom two, Paula? "I'm very surprised." Lady, you're surprised by butter.

Nope, still doesn't help.

How about this: when Pamela Anderson dies, do you think those things will go in the Smithsonian?

Nothing. I feel nothing inside. This is how some of you felt about Judd Harris, isn't it?

I miss my Jessiebear.


(eventually composes self)

Why cry for Jessica?, someone asked. My tears are entirely selfish. I just wanted to watch and hear her sing for a few more weeks. I know enough about 19E to be happy that she's not as trapped as whoever will win this thing. But certainly the longer she stuck around, the more leverage she would have in building her own career. Because, as I've said throughout this entire process, that's the entire point behind the argument that the singers who got no exposure before the voting rounds were at a disadvantage. I'm not arguing that here, though; Jessica got six weeks to show what she could do (seven if you count the last "Hollywood" episode). And in those six weeks, she gave us:
  • One jaw-dropper that I'll remember for years ("The Boys Are Back In Town")
  • One simply exceptional performance ("Broken Wing")
  • One excellent salvage job of a disastrous arrangement, ending with The Look* ("Total Eclipse Of The Heart")
  • One subtly excellent performance of a song that didn't have any flashy tricks to keep her out of the bottom three ("Shop Around"), and
  • Two songs that I can barely remember but that she didn't even come close to embarrassing herself on because she actually sang them ("Against All Odds" and this week's song, the name of which I'm suddenly unsure of)

Ironically, I think what most people remembered was that they couldn't remember her, and the last three songs listed above became her calling card instead of the first three.

But you're right. She made the tour, she made the album and she got a month and a half to show the public, and perhaps more importantly the music industry, what she can do. I have no doubt that she'll keep at it. She's clearly talented, and if it's only raw talent at this point, let's consider the fact that she's only 19. She gets experience under her belt and works her ass off, she's gonna be an absolute stunner in five years.

Me? I don't want to have to wait that long. And before last night, I only had to wait a week. So I'm bummed for me, not her.

*I quite literally clapped again when I heard that Jessica was safe the week before this. And I think I figured out what it is. She's a fine singer and all, the strongest woman in the competition, but she has a tendency, at the very end of the song (and certainly this week), of giving this look directly into the camera, and it's not eyefucking, exactly, it's a look that says that Jessica is deeply, overwhelmingly in love, not just in love but in love with me, me personally, and I don't know how, since we've never met or anything, but I believe it, I believe that Jessica Sierra from this year's American Idol loves me, and I just give her my heart and trust that when she breaks it, as I know she must, she will be honorable about it and probably be devastated herself, because she never stopped loving me like she did when she was a contestant on American Idol and she told me she loved me at the end of every song with just a look. So I think that's why I clapped.

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