AI Recapper's Retreat

The Retreat spawns from the Television Without Pity American Idol Forum. Primarily for your longer form recaps, a place outside of the flow of the crazy episode threads. This way we can enjoy/comment/encourage/rationalize these long posts more easily. We spend the time on them, here's another spot for them to have 'life'. Not a forum replacement but a sub-set: Post there, paste here! Or more? We'll see. Oh, and NO SPOILERS! Welcome back for a new year of soul crushing pimping of Chosen Ones. -WS

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Friday, February 18, 2005

by Wandering Snark

(I reposted my TWoP post from the last night of cuts for an example here...)

*sigh* Guess I'll be Jaclyn's overprotective older bro next year... I'm hoping they gave her more of a 'we'll come back to you next year, work hard' than a 'you're not right for the show'. They seemed to do so; and maybe she'll find herself better off for next year? I hope... poor kid, I still feel for her and think she was a breath of fresh non-pretentious air amongst the blazing famewhores. It was however cheap to make her one of the final two since they know she's so emotional. Keep your head up Jaclyn, best wishes for you and your mom.

I'd have liked to laughed along with/at Faith Gatewood as I felt she shouldn't have made it past the group comp but it went far too deeply into 'someone talk me down from this ledge' territory. I'd rather have not seen that, seriously I expected her to throw herself in front of a bus.

Well, say Aloha to a finalist we've never seen eh? I knew there'd be a handful of them.

I too thought OzJr was in room 1 or 3 yesterday and they just slipped it past us; that was truly a wtf? moment. He's the only one of the group that I'll actually let slide/even applaud for a name change. Go Nikko! I still hold to his having more of his dad's humility and not wanting special treatment. He could prove me wrong but I could see that angle on the name change since you take the 'Ozzie' away from Smith and it's a very generic name then.

No offense to fellow TWoPer's but when I saw people ascribing the 'awww' Jawwwwwnnnn Stevens thing to FederovtohaveagoodstoryonAI I threw up in my mouth. I actually think he could fall quite flat and be out early; not exactly the most dynamic kid to ever grace a stage. Just harkening back to my utter detest for Jawwwwnn and everything he stood for last year makes me dig my nails into my palms until they bleed; I hope we stem that rising tide post haste.

I was especially taken with Jessica Sierra's early footage they didn't care to show us. Now at least we know how she survived the Singin Hobo act...

I'm fully behind Judd Harris now since he seems to actually have creativity and talent which isn't exactly a common AI contestant trait. He's the kind of guy I'd actually look forward to seeing what he does week to week. Kinda JPL with talent?

Thankyou for sending home the pathetic emotional wreck that is Tammy Wynette LaToya Faye Baker-Nash; Jaclyn is a 16 y.o. with a chronically sick parent wtf is your excuse??!?!?

Color me shocked and a bit cool with Bo making it even if it meant hauling ConstantCreed with him...

As my mom would say "Oh my, that Mather girl is quite healthy-chested huh? She's lucky she doesn't just tip right over!" Heh. Mom-snark; how can ya beat it?

Mario's Mom appears to have completed the Momma DeGarmo Scary Stage Mom Certification correspondence course with flying colors. *shudder*

I'll keep the faith here people by saying it loud and proud; I HATE MEEKALAH Don't get sucked in people... I almost was buying the toned-down M2.0 but after she was given her yes and she just fuckin snapped I was again done with her. It was like she was a tape switched to fast forward... I've never heard anyone speak that quickly in my life.

That reminded me of the intro to one of the "Matt Foley: Motivational Speaker" bits on SNL when they said he'd been in the basement drinking coffee and chewing no-doz all morning. Also think of the judges like your employers okay kiddo? No asking for/demanding hugs a'ight? Buy yourself your own personality before you buy your mamma her new funbags, you may make it to 20 without being choked to death in a vaaaaan down by the river.

See people? The hate is easy! Join in!

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AI Animated GIFs
by Wandering Snark

Figured I'd start this off re-quoting the post with the links to the two animated GIFs I made from the auditions:

I started out by making this what I think is fairly amusing animated gif/slideshow of the guy who was obsessed with Neil Diamond (with the stabbing and the bug eyes etc.). At the time I actually made two but I only posted the one I called Shine On You Crazy (Neil) Diamond. BTW I have a larger version of that if anyone is interested, drop me an email.

Later on I posted: I figured I'd post something that when I made it was just plain too damn disturbing for me to reconcile posting.

I took a bunch of 'caps and made them into a flip-book type thing of his stabby singing stylings, it's disturbing. The thing that freaked my shit out though is that those 12 'caps or so yeilded an end product in which he is clearly mouthing 'stabby stabby stabby' as you watch it loop and it pops back to the inital frame. I shit you not... this was in no way intentional and yeah it freaks me out.

My therapist said that it would help to ask other people if they saw the same thing...

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Blogger FellowWaitress sez:

Okay, I know I'm going to come off as Precious Molly Do-Good here, but I have to step in, in defense of Mister Bug-Eye. (Don't stab me!)

I remember when this came on, my boyfriend said, "God, that guy is CREE. PEE."

And then they told the little story about how he was deaf as a child, and he wished on Neil Diamond's bling or something, and he got his hearing back while coming to America, blah blah blah...

Anyway, it occurs to me that maybe his wide-eye stare thing came from an early habit of trying to focus intently on people speaking to him, in effort to discern their meaning, given his handicap. I think that's likely, actually, and though it's unfortunate to look at, it's not something I think ought to be mocked... I mean, not once you know the cause. YMMV, of course.

As for the stabbing thing, I think he's going for the power/affirmative gesture and just failing miserably. HE TOTALLY looks like he's saying "stabby" in that gif! HAH!

Blogger Wandering Snark sez:

Oh thankgahd I'm not the only one who saw the 'stabby' thing!!

I feel like saying something like 'The eyes have it' but yeah it could be from listening over-intently. I found it kind of endearing in a bizarre way, actually. So it wasn't intended to be mean-spirited in the way AI's portrayal of Mary Gilbeaux was...

Blogger wasimmerdude sez:

Dude, I LOVE the image of Paula in the middle of the GIF. It's absolutely priceless. I missed the episode where this guy sang, and thus only heard about it in retrospect, so I missed out on how creepy it was. But, it seems like it was awesome and downright creepy at the same time.

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